My dear friends, you should be quick to listen and slow to speak.

—James 1:19

 A personal coach (PC) supports you in obtaining your life goals. The coach should have a clear vision of the mentees’ situation in order to guide to fulfill their goals. To achieve this, a coach must begin by listening, an essential element of the coaching process. Here are five traits of an effective PC listener:

1. EMPATHY: Although listening is a gift from your Creator, individuals can also learn this skill. As with any other skills, people must cultivate their ability to listen. Listening is not only being quiet and hearing with our ears, but using our hearts, as well. Coaches should be in tune with their higher consciousness to deepen their understanding of the speaker. They must listen for intentions and hear the important nuances and the subtleties the speaker uses and what he or she has left unsaid.

2. RESPECT: Effective PCs takes notice of self as he or she listens. They must silence that voice and wait to jump in and fix the situation. A good PC resists the urge to interrupt or finish a person’s sentence. The PA leaves prejudices out of the interaction, letting go of attitudes that might limit receptiveness. “Forget that you’ve heard this situation before, so don’t prejudge it.” Don’t expect the speaker to live up to a standard you’ve established. Instead, just be open to the situation as it unfolds. 3

. REFLECTION: The effective coach should listen to the speaker and react with verbal expressions conveying that you are listening and understanding. Ask questions to elicit feedback and reach closure. Ask the speaker what the problem is and what he or she feels. Reflect the issues back to the speaker. Always use a tone and volume that displays empathy and puts the speaker at ease. Be an active listener. Show you are listening and understanding what the speaker is saying. Gather all the words and sentences together to see the big picture.  When the person has finished talking, you may need to clarify to ensure you have received that person’s message accurately.

4. PATIENCE: Be patient with the speaker. Remember that person’s needs and concerns. Try to put other thoughts out of your mind and concentrate on the messages communicated by the individual receiving coaching. Use words, tone, and volume to encourage the speaker to continue.

5. FOCUS: Make a commitment to focus all of your divinely endowed energies of attention and imagination toward the content of the speaker’s message. It’s all about the speaker. Accept the speaker where that person is. Listen to the intonation, the language that person uses, analyze the speaker’s state of mind, and expression of allegiance. Freedom is the birthright of every human being—freedom to be whoever you are and to achieve your dreams. A personal coach listens to uplift, motivate, and encourage you to discover yourself, love yourself, and be free to master your dreams.

Listening is a gift that one chooses to give another. “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”—Rachael Naomi Remen

I, Diane Williams, author of ” Angels in Action,” am a Sherpa for hire. Contact me by email at writerworks@gmail.com and check out my weblog: mindofagoddess.wordpress.com. Please leave me a comment. I am willing to share my gift of listening combined with my gift of discernment for a twenty-minute complimentary session.